I like moose
#1
HI. MY CROUCH IS CAPS LOCK SO I APOLOGIZE FOR THIS.
Anyways, I'm Moosekahuna.
I like moose, and a long time ago I heard some broadcast on television say, "I am the big kahuna" or something along those lines. Thus I decided to become the kahuna of the moose.
If you have any worries that a friendly just became a member, I assure you that being friendly hoovy only accounts for 13% of my play time, only 2nd to solly with 18%. But heed this warning: I will throw sandviches at you and I will be a bird.
I honestly have no idea how to write an introduction, so I might as well start with my life story.
A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away, two stars collided into each other in the most unsexual cosmic explosion the world has ever known. From this cataclysm I emerged, wrapped in nothing but the dust of my forebears. With the power of pure farting alone, I propelled myself through space, gaining velocity until I was faster than the speed of light. After 69 years, I crash-landed on Earth, possibly ending an epoch or an era. But at the same time, I paved the way for humanity's existence. A lost being in an alien barren world, I called upon the power of earth, fire, wind, water, and proto-memes, and with our power combined I became Captain Planet. I erected an enormous pillar of stone, lubricated it with water, and speared it into Mother Earth until humans dug themselves out of the ground nine months later. It sounds unbelievable, but believe me when I say that I am your father.
Time passed, and I slept until the advent of the 21st century, where the need for me arose. Planet X was hurtling at Earth at a ludicrous rate, and so venturing out into the cold depths of space, I eliminated another planet's population with my intervention. With a loud crack Planet X and I batted the astray planet with a astronomical hammer, and the Earth was saved. With the swing I took, I was sent spiraling about for years before I was pulled back to earth in 2001, destroying the twin towers. Now I return to save a world wreathed in poverty, corruption, malnourishment, and Donald Trump's hair. But the arduous task of changing the world is not simple. This is why I, Earth-shaker, Planet-breaker, (S)he who wields the elements, and Savior of planet Earth ask for your aide. Donate all your keys and unusuals and I guarantee that you'll be safe from a lot of bad stuff in Canada. And you'll have moose. I like moose.
AND SO IF LLAMAS CAN USE RUBBER TO TRANSPORT GELATINOUS WINDOWS TO THE JUPITER MINISECTION WE CAN FLY USING THE POWER OF FLOOD PANTS RADIATION CHANNELED THROUGH A PINK GLUE DISPENSER USED BY DR. DRE. AYE ME HEARTIES FOR THIS BE NOTHING BUT TRUTH.

If I could imitate a sassy southern black woman saying amen it would go here.

Vote me for President, I'm a better candidate than Deez Nuts.
(͡°(͡°(͡°(͡°(͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)͡°)͡°)͡°)͡°)͡°)
The following 2 users say Thank You to Moosekahuna [TeeCee] for this post:
  • Daisies, Jerk [TC]
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#2
what is this.
[img=0x100]https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/d/d9/Flag_of_Canada_%28Pantone%29.svg/1200px-Flag_of_Canada_%28Pantone%29.svg.png[/img]
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#3
Everything you make is too long for me to read lol
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#4
@"pyhn [tc]" this is pretty short for me (͡°(͡°(͡°(͡°(͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)͡°)͡°)͡°)͡°)͡°)
(͡°(͡°(͡°(͡°(͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)͡°)͡°)͡°)͡°)͡°)
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#5
...moose... planet x is where the aliens live in my religion... dick.
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#6
I don't even know anymore.
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#7
I don't really know you..but I kinda want to you seem to have character to say the least 8^)
[img=0x560]http://i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/375/737/8d7.gif[/img]
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#8
wait... did someone leave a copy of a kurt vonnegut out or something?
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#9
@"Mang♠T.ö.C♠War"  Do you want me to make love to a pornstar as an exhibit for aliens to watch Wink
(͡°(͡°(͡°(͡°(͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)͡°)͡°)͡°)͡°)͡°)
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#10
nerd.
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#11
Hey, you brought up Vonnegut :3
(͡°(͡°(͡°(͡°(͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)͡°)͡°)͡°)͡°)͡°)
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#12
literary nerd.
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#13
You're a nerd for knowing Kurt Vonnegut
(͡°(͡°(͡°(͡°(͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)͡°)͡°)͡°)͡°)͡°)
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#14
"I have this disease late at night sometimes, involving alcohol and the telephone."

"and so it goes"...

"among the things billy couldn't change were the past, present, and future"

Billy Bishop is the worst time traveller.
[Image: 212457_101.png]
[Image: rSfDo6a.png]
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#15
Billy is a better time traveler than I am.
(͡°(͡°(͡°(͡°(͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)͡°)͡°)͡°)͡°)͡°)
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